


Peril at Avengers Tower

by Ellerigby13



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Die Hard References, Gen, Murder Mystery, References to Clue | Cluedo, Secret Relationship, The Princess Bride References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25253320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellerigby13/pseuds/Ellerigby13
Summary: When Loki turns up dead at Tony's Dinner for Chumps, everyone and anyone could be the killer - including Loki himself."The impossible could not have happened, therefore the impossible must be possible in spite of appearances."-Agatha Christie
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Wanda Maximoff, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov
Kudos: 9
Collections: Darcy With the Pen in the Discord





	1. Natasha in the Lounge with the Helmet Horns

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to the wonderful Darcyland organizers for putting on this terrific event. While the chapters take place in the same universe, they are technically unrelated and do not follow one singular killer or timeline. Chapter titles correspond to possible killers, locations, and murder weapons, in the tradition of Clue. The "Crack" tag exists for a reason ;)

Nat suppressed the smirk that wanted desperately to crawl across her lips while the rest of the party began to devolve on itself, Darcy Lewis waving her finger around like a maniac as she led the unsuspecting Avengers through room after room.

 _Someone_ had to make the party interesting, and Loki was probably the easiest and most acceptable casualty. If he were even completely dead to begin with.

It was a simple plot, really, and easy enough to frame on anyone else:

Suspect Number One: Valkyrie. Valkyrie had spent the most time with Loki in close quarters, and the clear annoyance that she displayed any time she was in his vicinity would be just enough of a motive to make her a valuable suspect. Naturally, she wouldn’t kill anyone with her own sword, and Loki was just enough of a megalomaniac to wear his horns anywhere and everywhere he went.

Suspect Number Two: Clint. He’d still held something of a grudge for Loki’s mind tricks making him an accomplice to over 80 murders over the course of a few days, and Darcy would likely suspect him of cutting the power because of all the time he spent up in the vents. (A practice Natasha had chided him for multiple times; he was a grown-ass man, and shimmying around up there was going to give him arthritis one of these days.) The vents would also be a good means of disposing of the body in the foyer, assuming any of them believed Clint could slither around through them with a whole body in tow.

And of course, Suspect Number Three: Loki himself. Loki was enough of a drama queen that he’d faked his own death multiple times, only to pop up later completely unscathed. Any of the dinner guests could assume that he’d done this, just as Natasha had, to spice up the party, and to draw more attention to himself. Seriously, he rivaled Tony in his narcissism at every turn.

Three suspects, all more likely than herself, with clear motivations that would be more easily bought than “Nat wanted to make things exciting.” It was the perfect crime, and, when committed in as open and highly trafficked space as the lounge, anybody would make the perfect suspect.


	2. Bucky in the Bar with a Glass of Milk

Darcy heaved a sigh as she sidled up to Bucky in the bar, reaching across the countertop to pour herself a double of Tony’s most expensive whiskey. Bucky smiled sardonically into the glass of milk he’d been nursing, finally turning away from the picture on the TV screen above them, some flick about princesses and giants, pirates and thieves.

“How you holding up there, champ?”

“Great,” she groused, drinking long and deep. “I’ve got no murder weapon, no witnesses, no suspects...and nobody seems to care enough to take this seriously.”

“Damn shame,” Bucky said, sipping his milk. The man’s voice on the television grew loud and shrill, which seemed to make Darcy laugh.

“Aw, this is the best part. Vizzini keeps bullshitting so he won’t have to drink the cup, but what he doesn’t know is both goblets are poisoned. Westley just knows how to handle his iocane.”

“Really?” Bucky deadpanned, taking another gulp of milk. The glass clunked against the counter when he set it down, Darcy’s eyes widening as she’d realized what she’d said. “No kiddin’.”


	3. Valkyrie in the Lab with the Sword

Valkyrie fiddled with the electric-looking pair of gloves on the lab table, guiding the half-assembled Frankenrobot into shadowing her every move. Natasha, perched on a lab stool at the next table, watched and sipped the milkshake she’d made.

“Your Midgardian technology is...damn near ancient,” Val mused, lifting one hand high up before bringing it back down, the robot whirring in front of her as it followed suit.

Nat chuckled, but something shiny caught her eye at Valkyrie’s feet. “You bring your sword to the lab every time you tinker?”

Val didn’t miss a beat, poking at the air in front of her while the robot mimicked. “You going to tell Lewis I killed him?”

“I won’t tell Lewis you killed Loki if you don’t tell Stark I finished his last protein shake.”


	4. Loki in the Kitchen with Magic

Steve, Bucky, and Clint had been rounded up into the kitchen, but just when it seemed like Darcy was about to start demanding questions from each of them, she began to sniffle. As she closed the door to the corridor behind her, she ducked her head, fat tears welling in her eyes.

“You okay?” Clint asked, baffled that she’d been so touched by Loki’s death; she hardly even liked the guy.

“I’m pregnant,” she announced, glaring at the ground. “And one of you is the father.”

Bucky, eyes wide, shared a bewildered look with Steve. Steve looked, confused, at Clint. Clint, befuddled, frowned at Loki. Loki, positively gobsmacked, looked at Darcy -

“Aha!” she shouted, the tears fading at an instant. “Rule number one of an interrogation, introduce chaos to get you all to drop your guard. Eat my shorts, sucker, you’ve been caught.”

As Loki reluctantly gave up his ruse, two fleeting thoughts passed through Steve’s mind, while he tried to get his heart to jump back out of his throat: one, that the completely irrational and overwhelming jealousy that had settled in the pit of his stomach at hearing that any of the other two men in the room might have also been sleeping with Darcy was probably a sign they needed to re-evaluate this ‘friends with benefits’ thing they had going on; and two, that she needed to stop hanging out with Natasha, because that was damn well terrifying.


	5. Carol on the Helipad with Steve's Shield

Carol kicked her feet up in Stark’s personal helicopter, sipping luxuriously at yet another Mai Tai. She cranked the radio up, wincing when Tony’s dad rock filled the cockpit, and switched the station to an old school hip hop channel.

“Whatcha doin’?” Wanda sang, coming out of nowhere and almost giving Carol palpitations.

“Jesus, you always sneak up on people like that?”

“No...” Wanda climbed into the next seat, her eyes soft and admiring as she took in the night sky from the top of the building. “Just seemed like a good place to get away from the Inquisition down there.”

Carol shrugged, and turned the radio down just a little so they could talk more. She hoped Wanda didn’t see the shield she’d swiped in the backseat, or the little stain on it she had yet to clean.


	6. Wanda in Pepper's Office with Magic

After a night of dinner, dancing, and copious amounts of Spanish wine, Pepper Potts was ready to fall the fuck asleep. “I’m gonna get cleaned up,” she told Tony, kissing his temple before she went to the bathroom. After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she wondered blandly how that dinner for assholes party Tony had arranged had gone. Goodness knows they all deserved to get it out of their systems.

“JARVIS, how’s everything at the Tower?”

“Exceptionally chaotic, ma’am. Mister Friggason has expired, Agent Romanoff has ransacked the kitchen, and Sergeant Barnes and Miss Maximoff seem to have found their way into your office.”

“ _My_ office? JARVIS, run visual.”

Wanda was sat atop her desk, facing Bucky in Pepper’s ergonomically perfect office chair. She reached forward, her hands glowing red -

“Not on the _desk_!” Pepper groaned, sinking onto the edge of the bathtub in disgust.


	7. Carol in the Gym with the Flerken

“Been a long time since we’ve sparred,” Nat grinned, taping up her hands. “Ready to get your walker kicked in, old man?”

Steve rolled his eyes and strapped himself into his own gloves. “No cheap shots, I’m too old and tired to patch up my eye again.”

“But you and Fury were twins for a day,” she teased, and slid effortlessly under the ropes into the ring Stark installed. “It was so cute.”

Steve was about to follow suit, when he heard the telltale “mrrroooww!” of an orange cat behind him. He frowned. “How’d you get in here?”

Nat arched an eyebrow. “Isn’t that Danvers’ cat?”


	8. Clint in the Vents with the Arrows

Clint glanced around, chuckling to himself before he hoisted his body up into the vent, and tucked his elbows in tight to his sides. He army crawled from one room to the next to observe each search party scrambling for clues, and finding none.

See, Nat, he thought, if John McClane can do it in Die Hard, so can I. Grown ass men can’t fit in the vents, my ass.

“Hey,” he heard Valkyrie saying, once he’d finished a quick circuit and started to head back to where he’d begun his surveillance. “Aren’t these Clint’s boots?”

It really wouldn’t be like John McClane in Die Hard if he _didn't_ take his shoes off...right?


	9. Natasha in the Elevator with the Spider-Bite

The elevator suddenly buckled, the lights going dark, and Darcy felt herself gasp in terror. “Clint, that’s not funny.”

“I’m right here,” he protested from somewhere in the darkness.

“JARVIS, old buddy, I don’t like this,” she groaned, and closed her hands down hard on the railing. “Jesus Christ, I’m too young and beautiful to get murdered.”

“Nobody’s too young and beautiful to get murdered,” Clint answered cheerfully, and Darcy jumped at the abrupt hissing sound that came from his direction.

“Did you...did you just crack a beer? While we’re stranded?”

“I mean, I’m young and beautiful too. Might as well enjoy my last beer if I get murdered.”


End file.
